Turns out, the Next Thing is sailing. Or it might be 🤔
Sailing has always been on our radar, but not in a serious way; onebagging abroad or outfitting a van and traveling North America have both been more likely for a long while, but something just struck us recently about learning to sail, finding a boat, and going.
Of course there are tiny parts of us that just want to buy a boat, learn as we go, and enjoy the ride. But I think our sharp awareness of things we don’t know and our understanding of just how spendy this could be are keeping us in check. So in exploring this, we’re taking it bit by bit, leaning a little more into it every passing week. We’re doing all the normal things.
Learning, as we can
Talking with people who know
Spending time around sailboats
Readjusting the things we tune into, with an eye towards changing our lives
Taking those little steps closer to being on the water – in a limited way at first, then more so
Seeing what paths could bring us to this particular dream
Getting solid about what we’d like, what the dream looks like
As we dip our toes and ankles in these waters, we’re starting to explore little bits of it. So far, it seems like this is what this could grow into:
Learn to sail along the coast, and away from the coast. At some point, acquire a boat; maybe moving to where that boat is. At some point after that, live aboard that boat. Gain more experience. Spend most of the time in anchorages around some warm coast, and then some point after that making a passage to another warm place that has a lot of neat anchorages.
We’ll see how all that goes. Maybe we do all that and more, maybe we come up against something that lets us know definitively this isn’t for us. Either way we’re in motion towards something amazing, and learning things and growing together.
Hello all, it’s been quite. long while. We still have this space for ourselves and it seems like we’re starting something new and right in line with all the ideas of why we started this blog, so why not continue it all here?
To review:
Moved to the mainland to take care of my mom, before she passed
Moved back to Kauai to help run Kuleana.work coworking space
Our new book is out, and we’re very excited about it! Kim and I have a deep tie to Kauai and all the Hawaiian islands. We also both have very up-close-and-personal experience with the education system here. This is a place that recruits over a thousand teachers from the mainland US every year to fill teacher job vacancies. That situation gives rise to some big challenges for new teachers, people moving here from the mainland, and for the schools and communities that look to embrace them.
There are a few books out there about moving to Hawaii, but none of them address the specific needs of new teachers coming to The Aloha State. It touches many topics we care a lot about, so we write this book with the idea we might help new teachers, the community, and the kids of Hawaii.
Dobar den! A common greeting in Bulgarian and the sum of what I’ve picked up after a week here. Luckily, some French and Italian phrases are used regularly by Bulgarians so there is a smidge of familiarity. I had forgotten how disorienting it can be to enter a space where you literally can’t speak or read the language-not even one word of it!
Plovdiv has an excited, vibrant feel. We have been staying in the Old Town area and are surrounded by cute coffee shops, abundant street art, nice restaurants, art galleries, Roman ruins, museums, a large Mosque and the longest pedestrian mall in Europe!
Our cute neighborhood in Plovdiv
The city has been chosen as one of two ‘European Capitals of Culture’ for 2019, a European Union project meaning to, among other things, highlight the richness of the cultures of Europe, revitalize areas, and boost tourism. It appears to be working! There is a lot of fresh energy and capital running through the city.
Today is our last day staying in the heart of Old Town. We are spending a few days in a hotel to take advantage of some nice services and celebrate my birthday! Then we have one more week in an Airbnb apartment we found right outside of the city center. There is supposedly a large market right in the neighborhood, so am hopeful for something interesting.
Feeling grateful and a little tired
I am so grateful for these past months of traveling. Grateful for the support of my friends and family. Grateful for a wonderful companion and boyfriend to travel with. Grateful to be able to fulfill this urge to wander and explore. This has been a great idea!
However, we are on our last month of traveling and feeling a bit travel-worn. Settling into Bulgaria has been more difficult than other places. Even with all the vibrant energy, being a foreigner has started to take it’s toll. The weather is a little cloudier and rainier. Internet problems and dealing with little set backs are somewhat harder. It was difficult to become enamored of Plovdiv, our home for a few weeks, at first. We are a little grumpy and a little ready to come home to our friends and family!
We’ve since found the charm and are getting acquainted and getting some work done. But not before contemplating some changes in direction, including heading for warmer climes and coming home early!
After some serious prioritizing and reflecting on what are goals are at this point, we decided to stay our plotted course. Two more weeks in Bulgaria. A few days in Barcelona (would love more but we have stayed our welcome in the Schengen Zone!) and a week in Morocco.
Have figured some things out along the way
I have decided I am not cut out to travel as a digital nomad indefinitely. Which is good to know! I like the contrast. Leaving home and coming home. Pulling up roots and putting them back down. Three to four months is a nice amount of time to travel. After that home starts to call. Friends and family start to get missed a lot. I crave my own bed. I want to plant a garden.
Home is Wisconsin. Home is also Hawaii. Hawaii hasn’t been home for as long as Wisconsin has, but it has those similar feelings and longings. Friends and family and familiar places which I miss dearly.
We have some things to celebrate! Pete and I have almost finished our book. Hooray! One of our goals was to write a book together while traveling. We are not quite, but almost done. Very soon you will be able to find our ebook, Moving to Hawaii to Teach-Your Study Guide online! Definitely before the start of next school year 😉
One of my personal goals was to explore and develop means of supporting myself while being location independent. I am happy to say I am currently working with my first client to help her develop her online presence to sell her books! It’s a trip and a learning experience.
A few favorites
Major City: Rome
Greek Island: Naxos
French Village: Eguilles
Italian Village: San Gimignano
Coffee: Cappuccino al banco anywhere in Italy
Sandwich: Croquette Monsieur in France
Salad: Naxian salad in Greece. Bulgarians, however, take salad making very seriously
Pubs: London-a great pub on every corner
Views: Santorini. Sigh. Although the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland were also breathtaking
Overall aesthetic: Greek Islands. Love the white and blue architecture
What now?
After a few months in the Midwest, Pete and I plan to return to Kauai and find a homey space to live. My goals are to write, tend a garden, foster clients, sell my soap, explore options to keep teaching and of course, hang out at the beach.
Map Room at the Vatican Museum – a long, long line.
We were in Santorini and needed to be up in Northern Italy in a week to meet our dear friend Kathy. While being truly stunning, Santorini is like an amazing desert and you can’t really eat dessert for very long so we had some time to make our way.
Doing all the usual research, we decided to take a ferry to Athens and from there fly to Rome. We’d stay in Rome for 5 days then continue our journey north to Stresa to meet Kathy. The first part of this trek was the ferry to Athens. It left Santorini at a shocking 3am. Ugh.
We arranged for a cab to take us down the mountainside to the port at about 2am, an hour early. Lots of people asked us why, or tried to talk us out of it. “Too early,” they’d say. “Why? You’ll just be sitting around?”
On this trip, something we’ve learned – it seems given very deeply into our culture that an “optimal” experience is to spend as little time as possible in line, as close to your desired time to do the thing you’re in line for. A distant second seems to be waiting line for a long period, but getting to choose the time of day you do your thing; it’s great if you can do the thing at 2pm,even if you have to stand in line for 4 hours before. It will suck, but you’ll get to do this thing at exactly the time you want to.
We’ve also learned something even better – if you’re willing to change your preconceptions about time and you’ve got a little leeway here, you can be much happier, get screwed by bad happenstance a lot less, and avoid a lot of crowding. Just be early.
For the Santorini ferry, nothing went wrong and we wound up chilling on the dock for an hour. A rough hour, 2-3am, but a lot could have gone wrong if we’d waited. The way to the dock is a crazy switchback road. We weren’t knowledgeable about taxis in Greece an had to rely on others for help. If we missed this connection, it would have been about an $800 mistake, as it would cascade into many other things that had to be timed right. So, we went early,and things were fine.
In Florence, the line for the amazingly popular and picturesque climb to the top of the Duomo is usually about 3-4 hours long. The Duomo opens at 8am, an as it turns out if you’re there at 7am ( early ) none of the tourists are there yet. You get in line, and wait no-time-at all. Time in line is 1 hour, not 4. In the cool morning, another serious bonus. Without all the hawkers in your business; another bonus.
At the Vatican, the line to see the museum is about a quarter mile long, hours in the hot sun. Unless you go early – there by 730, in by 915.
It doesn’t work all the time, but being early in the day or earlier than others for some connection has never, ever hurt us an has saved us a number of times. The hardest part ( after you reframe your timeline ) is keeping yourself occupied during the wait. Talking, reading, verbal games, Facebook, and a little patience seem to work just fine for this.
Almost a week on this island and I don’t know how I could be more in love with it. Naxos has beautiful beaches and great weather. Interesting stories and ruins which bring to life some of the Greek mythology we’ve grown up with. Great food and architectural aesthetic-the list goes on and on.
It’s hard to pick just one thing, but I think if I had to, the thing I love most about Naxos is that it is largely self sufficient, producing most of the food it consumes and then some. The largest of the Cycladic Islands, Naxos has large valleys and plains with fertile soil for many things.
Potatoes and Other Agricultural Products
The Naxos potato is celebrated throughout Greece. They produce so much here that they export them. I can attest to how delicious they are. Golden colored with a mild, almost sweet flavor, we’ve been eating plenty of them in the form of french fries and have even been cooking them ourselves. On our first trip to the market we bought a big bag of them.
Why are they so delicious? Well, the soil composition and semi-arid conditions are normally attributed to the good flavor. I would add that the celebration of them as something special and desirable contributes to that sweet taste.
Pulses (beans and lentils), olives, figs, grapes and herbs are a few of the other major crops grown on the island. Olive oil, wines and other products are made from these.
Animal Products
Homemade ‘Naxian Salad’ with xinomizithra cheese
Cows, sheep, pigs and goats are all kept on Naxos. Fresh cows milk, yogurt, and cheeses are all produced on island.
The cheeses. Oh my goodness the cheeses are so good. There are about 4-5 varieties which are traditionally attributed to Naxos and are produced and celebrated here. Although if you ask any Naxian cheese maker how many varieties there are the answer is ‘sooooooo many’!
Our first nibble was when we ordered a ‘Naxian salad’ from a restaurant. It was a salad of tomatoes, cucumber, red onion and capers with xinomizithra (sour) cheese on top. It was delicious. We now make our own every day or so.
Wine and Kitro
How could a place call itself self-sustaining without producing it’s own booze?!
Naxos has been producing it’s own wine for a long time. According to legend, Dionysus, the Greek god of wine and revelry, was born here. He gifted Naxos with fertile land with which to grow grapes, make wine and be happy.
Wine making is a family tradition here where most families have their own vineyards. There are also plenty of bottled varieties. So far we’ve been sticking with the organic ouzo we came across but will certainly try a wine or two before we leave.
Kitro is something special. It’s a syrupy liqueur with a slight citrus flavor. It’s made from the leaves of the kitron or citron tree and has been produced here for over two centuries.
Apiculture
Beekeeping is alive and well on Naxos. There are about 4,000 hives on the island and many different labels can be found in the markets. The bees mostly feed on thyme and heather and also on sage and oregano as these are the typical plants they will come across. Delicious in some creamy Naxos yogurt.
I want the place I live in to be more like this. To produce and celebrate it’s own sustenance. To share this harvest with the rest of the world, in an interdependent kind of way which does not diminish or exploit the hard work of the people here, but cherishes and protects it.
This kind of lifestyle does not appear to be creating lots of super rich people. But it is creating people who live a meaningful and fulfilling life. A healthy and happy life.
Kayleigh Franks of NHTV University of Applied Sciences in the Netherlands has published a thesis on digital nomadism as part of her BS requirements. “Digital Nomads: the drivers and effects of becoming location independent” is posted up on Scribd. I discovered this through my weekly subscription to the always-interesting Digital Nomad Weekly newsletter.
From the Executive Summary:
The aim of this study is to explore the drivers and effects of becoming a digital nomad focusing on: contingency structure, lifestyle preference and social and psychological attitude. Firstly, a literature was composed in order to gain knowledge and insight on the aforementioned topic. Furthermore, three initial research questions were formulated to guide the research: 1. How digital nomadism differentiates from other forms of long-term travel? 2.What are the push/pull factors of becoming location independent? 3. What are the effects of becoming a digital nomad?
We just moved into our new place here on Naxos, our home for the next month. As I sit in this little beach bar doing a couple hours of work, I thought I’d SQUIRREL! take a few moments to inventory and see how this place compares to my home back on Kauai.
How Naxos and Kauai are similar
much sun, much water
warm and welcoming to visitors
lots of casual beach culture
mountains, all over the place
It’s Five ‘o’clock somewhere. All. The. Time. Mai Tais, anyone?
great local food – poke, organic rum, and poi on Kauai; tzatziki, uzo, and honey-yogurt on Naxos
public wifi is very common; widespread access to the laptop lifestyle if you look
amazing, profound local culture with roots going back a long way
traffic rules are pretty chill
most evertywhere feels very safe
lesbian-gay-friendly
both have an off-season, where it’s still beautiful but ( even ) more affordable and ( even ) less crowded
kinda diverse visitor base
there’s always a chance you’ll see someone famous
great things about Naxos
The Naxos sunset
most places open late, including car rentals and street grocers
most everything is very inexpensive
soooooo manybeach bars/cafes, right on the beach
no American points of stress – guns, politics, religion – are nonexistent here
quads are street-legal
freakishly clear water
very self-sustaining; serious food production and export happening here
way cheap inter-island transport
ruins. Who doesn’t like ancient culture?
freebie after dinner
more arid – less humidity, less allergies, and less rain
traffic rules are more like guidelines
many mom & pop hotel/stay options, as well as independent food options
stray animal kindness – cats are fed leftovers, given special dishes outside people’s homes, and mingle freely in the outdoor spaces. Dogs are treated well, but are much less common
[edit] no centipedes or roaches!
also, if it’s your thing…
european beer – lots of variety, and inexpensive
less conservative – more bare skin on the beach
smoking in bars, cafes, and restaurants
more dudes in Speedos
great things about Kauai
The Kauai sunset.
it’s tropical – lush – wet and green all the time
there’s English everywhere, all the time
for Americans, it’s easy to get to, relatively speaking
there’s surfing, in many varieties
everything is kept up – very little graffiti or crumbling infrastructure, no abandoned structures ( except for CoCo Palms, of course! )
more choices for American beer ( and other products )
spirit of aloha prevelent
no smoking in bars, cafes, or restaurants
it’s all in dollars – not cheap, but you already have them in your wallet ( if you’re American, that is )
shipping things to the mainland US is a sure thing, and not a roll of the dice
everything closes down early – a pretty sleepy place
you can flush the toilet paper. You don’t know how great this is until you can’t do it.
a very organized rescue and response infrastructure, just in case
traffic – the streets, signs, traffic laws and enforcement you’re used to
because it’s in the US – language, military, border restrictions, symbols – although different, Kauai is probably tucked more snugly inside American visitors’ comfort zones
easier to stay connected to American sportzing via sports bars
intentional culture – very little littering, premium on organic goods and processes
less speedos
Is there a winner to this throwdown?
Kauai is home, so I won’t be moving there too soon. But so far there doesn’t seem to be a clear “winner” for me.
We’ve watched mostly-ridiculous movies set in these places while we were in each. Can you guess them from the pictures below? ( their order is shuffled – no help there. )
Do you know the movies? Post below. Also, what are the movies we -should- have watched, to get in the spirit of these places?
I know Cain was raised in the Shaolin tradition. I just liked the pic.
A little bit ago, I went to live with the monks at the Amaravati Monestary just outside of London. For a weekend.
I unplugged for two days, leaving all the distractions and BS of real life ( minimal as they might be in my current situation ) outside and behind, and for two days worked on being mindful, being introspective, and listening to any advice my inner-self was willing to share with me. I was willing to set aside two days to try something different, to try something many, many others before me had done and claimed helped them increase the quality of their lives.
I was not disappointed.
No matter where you live, there’s likely a monastery or meditative retreat that could help you do the same thing within driving distance. Maybe more than one.
Some are big and you’d definitely notice them. Signs out front, clearly a special place set aside, a reserve in more ways than one. But other times you might have driven or walked past it on your way to Starbucks a zillion times and never known it was there. Not all of these kinds of places invite outsiders to visit, but lots do.
By “retreat” I mean a place you could go for a day, a weekend, a week, or longer. By “monastery” I mean a ( usually Buddhist, but maybe other variety ) place where monks and/or nuns are working full time on their personal development towards Enlightenment. If they’re open to the public, these places welcome newcomers who want to spend a day or longer unplugged. Both types are most commonly free, even if you stay for weeks, though you’ll be expected to participate in the routine – chores and meditation. Don’t worry, the chores are things you know how to do, and they’ll teach the meditation; they assume you don’t know anything.
When I say “free” I mean they don’t charge. They’ll certainly accept a donation if you want to make one, and there’s a kind of expectation that you’ll bring food of some kind, but if you’re not inclined to give back you could just show up and hang out for a week, working on your Enlightenment thing.
Just for clarity, in this post when I say “monastery” I mean that, or a meditative retreat that might be run by non-monks/nuns.
Unplugging – what you do there
Ever wish you could unplug?
Or maybe you don’t wish to, but you know in the back of your mind somewhere it’d be a good idea. Life is noisy or stressful, people are fucking annoying, the job is stressful, and you just want things to be -simple- for a short while. Your current daily thing is bugging the shit out of you, or maybe you’d just like to try something different. A stay-cation of sorts, but definitely something a little more mindful than bingeing on “Pretty Little Liars” on Netflix.
Your local monastery is the perfect place for this. Not expensive, not hard to get to, totally looking forward to you being there, and great for a little reset-button-pushing.
Question – Will they make me join their cult? Answer – No.
They’re definitely not going to try to convert you. It’s not like that. You won’t have to shave your head, give up any possessions, wear funny robes, or anything along those lines. Part of the “work” a monastery does is make itself open and available to seekers looking to learn more about the monastic experience, or more about what they teach there, or just learn a bit of quiet mindfulness. They don’t give a shit about trying to make you join, or changing you or your life – a huge part of their universe is the idea that we all change ourselves, starting with making a decision to do so. They’re not looking to change you, only help you exactly as much as you want. And also, providing you a great environment to do this, if only for a weekend.
When I say “unplug” I mean exactly that. You can bring your phone, but most monasteries will expect you to keep it in your bag. Your Kindle or laptop… probably just leave those at home.
A quick aside – If this right here sounds like a deal breaker for you, you might be more in need of a break than you think. Just sayin’.
The belief is that during your mindful time at the monastery, you’ll be looking inward. You spend a lot of your regular day looking outward – answering emails, texting, watching traffic, cleaning up after the kids, making sure that project gets done, remembering to pay the electric bill, and so on. That’s all outward-directed stuff.
At the monastery, they’re going to kind of insist you go inward. This is called “being mindful,” and for normal people with no training, this starts with leaving the laptop at home and putting the phone in Airplane Mode. And of course taking a few deep breaths, because just this can be a little stressful, eh?
Deep breath in. Be aware of your breathing. Hold it for a moment. Now let it out.
See? You feel better already.
What to bring to the monastery
Be cool and bring a bag of food. Their monastary website probably has some suggestions. Bring some comfy clothes you can sit around in. Leave the graphic t-shirts, sport coats, funny hats, and expensive shoes at home. Trying to be a fashionista at the monastery is a special kind of ridiculous. Bring comfy shoes, and a hoodie if you get cold. They might have location-specific rules depending on who runs the monastery – the one I stayed at wanted you to wear long sleeves – so follow those rules.
If you stay overnight, you’ll likely be doing something outside, so dress for this too.
You make the arrangement to stay, even if just for a day, ahead of time. You do this like you’d make any other sort of reservation – you call, or more likely message like email. I made arrangements with the “Guest Monk” through email to stay the next weekend.
Monastery Rules
A thing about “rules” at the monastery: part of the deal with providing you a pretty-much-free place to learn and try the mindfulness thing, giving you a retreat from your stressful life, is that you’ll be a good sport and follow The Program. What this entails exactly varies from place to place according to the traditions of whomever is running the place. As I understand it, where I stayed is pretty typical; The Program there went like this:
wake up at 4am, with the gong ( cooler than it sounds )
do morning stuff ( like S-S-S ) for an hour
attend morning meditation in the temple from 5-630
help with chores inside from 630-730
eat breakfast as a group
do chores outside until 1130
eat lunch as a group
do “mindful shit”
( maybe no evening meal – you’ll be fine )
go to bed early enough so that waking up tomorrow at 4am doesn’t kill you
They’re going to expect you not to be on your phone. They’re going to need you not to yell, or otherwise interfere with other people trying to be mindful. Some places will insist you don’t talk at all, but at the monastery I went to this was not a thing; people talked all the time – just not about stuff like reality TV.
They’re going to expect you to pitch in with chores, to eat only at mealtimes, and not be disruptive to the routine or other people visiting or living there. They’re definitely going to expect you to come with an open mind, and an honest desire to give The Program a try for the duration of your stay.
If you decide at any point, anytime day or night it’s not for you, of course you can leave. Never a problem.
They’re going to expect you to sleep in the dorm appropriate to your gender, and not to flirt, chase anyone, or even talk or pay attention to that kind of thing. You’re not there for that, and you’re definitely not supposed to bug other people who are there to be mindful with your ham-handed attempts at flirting. Leave that stuff outside. If you come to the monastery with a sweetie, no PDA.
Doing the mindful shit
All monasteries will have meditation as serious parts of the schedule. There might also be lectures about Buddhism or the mindful perspective. The chores you do will be simple, and also work to provide you with time to reflect and look inward.
The local rules are there to help reinforce the mission to be mindful, to look within. You’ll be up pretty early, so as not to waste the day, but to also encourage the feeling of “holy crap, it’s 9am and I feel like I’ve done a day’s worth of stuff already.” A good feeling. Meals are communal, and pretty simple. This helps you realize that you don’t need to make a production of meals or spend a lot to satisfy your body. The noon meal is huge, and filling, and it’s the last one of the day.
They’ll assume you’ve never meditated before, and will be happy to give you some instruction. Each place teaches slightly different variations. Whatever flavor of meditation they teach, if you’re not used to sitting still for 90 minutes and doing nothing, this will be hugely difficult.
We’re not used to this. We’re used to attending to the outside world. When things are quiet, most of us crave distraction. We hit Facebook or Reddit, find something to clean, or someone to talk to. We don’t care to be alone and quiet with ourselves because most of us weren’t trained for that. We’re thought that it’s not “productive time” and that it’s just being lazy.
Some of us have a definitely problem with being alone with ourselves. Meditation is specifically designed to help with this. It is definitely work, and it is definitely productive. If you work at stilling your mind, quieting the “monkey brain” that’s screeching inside all of us, amazing things will happen. I promise.
But working on this is a definite pain in the ass. It will be one of the most difficult things you’ve ever done. Even if just for an hour.
No one will expect you to be any good at it. They’ll gently remind you not to be hard on yourself, and when something breaks your concentration, just turn aside and start again with the blank slate. Or whatever. Part of this is learning not to be so hard on yourself, not to beat yourself up.
After a bit of time and effort, you’ll be able to hold that stillness for a few moments. It will be surreal. It will surprise you.
Then you’ll think of that next episode of “Pretty Little Liars,” you’ll chastise yourself for breaking mindfulness, you’ll remember not to chastise yourself, you’ll put the idea of Netflix aside, and this next time the stillness will last a bit longer.
In that stillness, sometimes, you’ll learn things. Very valuable, sometimes painful, sometimes joyful things. the quiet you’re striving so hard for will allow stuff to bubble up that the smarter part of who you are is trying to tell you, but can’t get across because of all the daily BS you immerse yourself in.
This mindfulness, as well as taking steps to physically remove yourself from a noisy and distracting life, unplugging and living for a short while at a place apart from that world, is what the monastic experience is all about. For a day, for a weekend, or longer.
Meditation will be a big part of this mindful practice. There will also likely be a relevant library on-sight, if that’s your thing. There may be gardens, fields, courtyards, or other places suited to quiet contemplation. There will be supportive people all around trying to do the same thing you are.
Ten minutes after I arrived, I got me some enlightenment
When Kim and I arrived, she immediately went off with some girl who’d spent previous time in this monastery, and helped her get settled in the women’s dorm… which left me by myself, moments after arrival. I sat in the reception area of this monastery, endeavoring to be quiet and respectful ( like I was supposed to be, right? ) waiting for the “Guest Monk” to come get me and orient me.
As the moments turned into minutes, still sitting by myself I watched people enter the main group area of the monastery, but no one came to tell me where to go, or what to do.
At first I fidgeted. Then I started to get really bothered.
I was shocked by how much this bothered me, and caused me to be anxious. And maybe it was the environment of the monastery itself, or the idea that I had set aside this time to learn about myself, but my first lesson hit me pretty hard in that moment, no meditation required:
Lesson 1 – as a matter of routine, I put an awful lot of stock in what I’m “supposed” to be doing, at any given moment. If I feel I’m failing at this, I’m immediately pretty hard on myself. The monkey brain starts chattering loudly.
What am I supposed to be doing? Am I missing out on something? Will I be reprimanded? Or worse, will people just quietly look at me and think “poor, dumb newbie. He just doesn’t understand this place.”
Where the f*** was the guy who was -supposed- to be here orienting me? WTF? I’m just sitting here!
Lesson 2 – I put an awful to of stock in what others “should” be doing to help me along in life, and in doing so I give up a lot of agency.
Lesson 3 – both of these things cause me a lot of stress
Lesson 4 – both of these things are -totally- my own decision. I could just as easily choose a number of other options: Just to not feel stressed. Just to relax and be patient. Or to stand up and go see what the delay might be, or even better – just go find somewhere to fit in. Or to read something, make better use of my moments than sitting, stewing, and stressing about what I -should- be doing, or what someone else -should- be doing to help me.
Wow.
No meditation required, and ten minutes in I’d already learned some maybe-life-changing stuff about myself.
I could have had this epiphany anywhere. I could have had this realization at home while watching Netflix and texting on my phone while chasing Pokemon. But I didn’t. In all the zillions of moments I’ve had to myself, I didn’t learn all this there in front of the TV. I learned it within moments of sitting my ass in the chair of the reception area of the monastery.
To wrap this post up
I could go on and on, but I’ll spare you. My time at the monastery was very well spent. I’d be happy to talk with you about this, or answer any questions, or help you find a place you could check out for a day, or a weekend, or longer. Drop me a line.
At the monastery, they’re going to kind of insist you go inward. This is called “being mindful,” and for normal people with no training, this starts with leaving the laptop at home and putting the phone in Airplane Mode. And of course taking a few deep breaths, because just this can be a little stressful, eh?
All monasteries will have meditation as serious parts of the schedule. There might also be lectures about Buddhism or the mindful perspective. The chores you do will be simple, and also work to provide you with time to reflect and look inward.
pau hana life 