Turns out, the Next Thing is sailing. Or it might be 🤔
Sailing has always been on our radar, but not in a serious way; onebagging abroad or outfitting a van and traveling North America have both been more likely for a long while, but something just struck us recently about learning to sail, finding a boat, and going.
Of course there are tiny parts of us that just want to buy a boat, learn as we go, and enjoy the ride. But I think our sharp awareness of things we don’t know and our understanding of just how spendy this could be are keeping us in check. So in exploring this, we’re taking it bit by bit, leaning a little more into it every passing week. We’re doing all the normal things.
Learning, as we can
Talking with people who know
Spending time around sailboats
Readjusting the things we tune into, with an eye towards changing our lives
Taking those little steps closer to being on the water – in a limited way at first, then more so
Seeing what paths could bring us to this particular dream
Getting solid about what we’d like, what the dream looks like
As we dip our toes and ankles in these waters, we’re starting to explore little bits of it. So far, it seems like this is what this could grow into:
Learn to sail along the coast, and away from the coast. At some point, acquire a boat; maybe moving to where that boat is. At some point after that, live aboard that boat. Gain more experience. Spend most of the time in anchorages around some warm coast, and then some point after that making a passage to another warm place that has a lot of neat anchorages.
We’ll see how all that goes. Maybe we do all that and more, maybe we come up against something that lets us know definitively this isn’t for us. Either way we’re in motion towards something amazing, and learning things and growing together.
Hello all, it’s been quite. long while. We still have this space for ourselves and it seems like we’re starting something new and right in line with all the ideas of why we started this blog, so why not continue it all here?
To review:
Moved to the mainland to take care of my mom, before she passed
Moved back to Kauai to help run Kuleana.work coworking space
Our new book is out, and we’re very excited about it! Kim and I have a deep tie to Kauai and all the Hawaiian islands. We also both have very up-close-and-personal experience with the education system here. This is a place that recruits over a thousand teachers from the mainland US every year to fill teacher job vacancies. That situation gives rise to some big challenges for new teachers, people moving here from the mainland, and for the schools and communities that look to embrace them.
There are a few books out there about moving to Hawaii, but none of them address the specific needs of new teachers coming to The Aloha State. It touches many topics we care a lot about, so we write this book with the idea we might help new teachers, the community, and the kids of Hawaii.
Map Room at the Vatican Museum – a long, long line.
We were in Santorini and needed to be up in Northern Italy in a week to meet our dear friend Kathy. While being truly stunning, Santorini is like an amazing desert and you can’t really eat dessert for very long so we had some time to make our way.
Doing all the usual research, we decided to take a ferry to Athens and from there fly to Rome. We’d stay in Rome for 5 days then continue our journey north to Stresa to meet Kathy. The first part of this trek was the ferry to Athens. It left Santorini at a shocking 3am. Ugh.
We arranged for a cab to take us down the mountainside to the port at about 2am, an hour early. Lots of people asked us why, or tried to talk us out of it. “Too early,” they’d say. “Why? You’ll just be sitting around?”
On this trip, something we’ve learned – it seems given very deeply into our culture that an “optimal” experience is to spend as little time as possible in line, as close to your desired time to do the thing you’re in line for. A distant second seems to be waiting line for a long period, but getting to choose the time of day you do your thing; it’s great if you can do the thing at 2pm,even if you have to stand in line for 4 hours before. It will suck, but you’ll get to do this thing at exactly the time you want to.
We’ve also learned something even better – if you’re willing to change your preconceptions about time and you’ve got a little leeway here, you can be much happier, get screwed by bad happenstance a lot less, and avoid a lot of crowding. Just be early.
For the Santorini ferry, nothing went wrong and we wound up chilling on the dock for an hour. A rough hour, 2-3am, but a lot could have gone wrong if we’d waited. The way to the dock is a crazy switchback road. We weren’t knowledgeable about taxis in Greece an had to rely on others for help. If we missed this connection, it would have been about an $800 mistake, as it would cascade into many other things that had to be timed right. So, we went early,and things were fine.
In Florence, the line for the amazingly popular and picturesque climb to the top of the Duomo is usually about 3-4 hours long. The Duomo opens at 8am, an as it turns out if you’re there at 7am ( early ) none of the tourists are there yet. You get in line, and wait no-time-at all. Time in line is 1 hour, not 4. In the cool morning, another serious bonus. Without all the hawkers in your business; another bonus.
At the Vatican, the line to see the museum is about a quarter mile long, hours in the hot sun. Unless you go early – there by 730, in by 915.
It doesn’t work all the time, but being early in the day or earlier than others for some connection has never, ever hurt us an has saved us a number of times. The hardest part ( after you reframe your timeline ) is keeping yourself occupied during the wait. Talking, reading, verbal games, Facebook, and a little patience seem to work just fine for this.
Kayleigh Franks of NHTV University of Applied Sciences in the Netherlands has published a thesis on digital nomadism as part of her BS requirements. “Digital Nomads: the drivers and effects of becoming location independent” is posted up on Scribd. I discovered this through my weekly subscription to the always-interesting Digital Nomad Weekly newsletter.
From the Executive Summary:
The aim of this study is to explore the drivers and effects of becoming a digital nomad focusing on: contingency structure, lifestyle preference and social and psychological attitude. Firstly, a literature was composed in order to gain knowledge and insight on the aforementioned topic. Furthermore, three initial research questions were formulated to guide the research: 1. How digital nomadism differentiates from other forms of long-term travel? 2.What are the push/pull factors of becoming location independent? 3. What are the effects of becoming a digital nomad?
We just moved into our new place here on Naxos, our home for the next month. As I sit in this little beach bar doing a couple hours of work, I thought I’d SQUIRREL! take a few moments to inventory and see how this place compares to my home back on Kauai.
How Naxos and Kauai are similar
much sun, much water
warm and welcoming to visitors
lots of casual beach culture
mountains, all over the place
It’s Five ‘o’clock somewhere. All. The. Time. Mai Tais, anyone?
great local food – poke, organic rum, and poi on Kauai; tzatziki, uzo, and honey-yogurt on Naxos
public wifi is very common; widespread access to the laptop lifestyle if you look
amazing, profound local culture with roots going back a long way
traffic rules are pretty chill
most evertywhere feels very safe
lesbian-gay-friendly
both have an off-season, where it’s still beautiful but ( even ) more affordable and ( even ) less crowded
kinda diverse visitor base
there’s always a chance you’ll see someone famous
great things about Naxos
The Naxos sunset
most places open late, including car rentals and street grocers
most everything is very inexpensive
soooooo manybeach bars/cafes, right on the beach
no American points of stress – guns, politics, religion – are nonexistent here
quads are street-legal
freakishly clear water
very self-sustaining; serious food production and export happening here
way cheap inter-island transport
ruins. Who doesn’t like ancient culture?
freebie after dinner
more arid – less humidity, less allergies, and less rain
traffic rules are more like guidelines
many mom & pop hotel/stay options, as well as independent food options
stray animal kindness – cats are fed leftovers, given special dishes outside people’s homes, and mingle freely in the outdoor spaces. Dogs are treated well, but are much less common
[edit] no centipedes or roaches!
also, if it’s your thing…
european beer – lots of variety, and inexpensive
less conservative – more bare skin on the beach
smoking in bars, cafes, and restaurants
more dudes in Speedos
great things about Kauai
The Kauai sunset.
it’s tropical – lush – wet and green all the time
there’s English everywhere, all the time
for Americans, it’s easy to get to, relatively speaking
there’s surfing, in many varieties
everything is kept up – very little graffiti or crumbling infrastructure, no abandoned structures ( except for CoCo Palms, of course! )
more choices for American beer ( and other products )
spirit of aloha prevelent
no smoking in bars, cafes, or restaurants
it’s all in dollars – not cheap, but you already have them in your wallet ( if you’re American, that is )
shipping things to the mainland US is a sure thing, and not a roll of the dice
everything closes down early – a pretty sleepy place
you can flush the toilet paper. You don’t know how great this is until you can’t do it.
a very organized rescue and response infrastructure, just in case
traffic – the streets, signs, traffic laws and enforcement you’re used to
because it’s in the US – language, military, border restrictions, symbols – although different, Kauai is probably tucked more snugly inside American visitors’ comfort zones
easier to stay connected to American sportzing via sports bars
intentional culture – very little littering, premium on organic goods and processes
less speedos
Is there a winner to this throwdown?
Kauai is home, so I won’t be moving there too soon. But so far there doesn’t seem to be a clear “winner” for me.
We’ve watched mostly-ridiculous movies set in these places while we were in each. Can you guess them from the pictures below? ( their order is shuffled – no help there. )
Do you know the movies? Post below. Also, what are the movies we -should- have watched, to get in the spirit of these places?
I know Cain was raised in the Shaolin tradition. I just liked the pic.
A little bit ago, I went to live with the monks at the Amaravati Monestary just outside of London. For a weekend.
I unplugged for two days, leaving all the distractions and BS of real life ( minimal as they might be in my current situation ) outside and behind, and for two days worked on being mindful, being introspective, and listening to any advice my inner-self was willing to share with me. I was willing to set aside two days to try something different, to try something many, many others before me had done and claimed helped them increase the quality of their lives.
I was not disappointed.
No matter where you live, there’s likely a monastery or meditative retreat that could help you do the same thing within driving distance. Maybe more than one.
Some are big and you’d definitely notice them. Signs out front, clearly a special place set aside, a reserve in more ways than one. But other times you might have driven or walked past it on your way to Starbucks a zillion times and never known it was there. Not all of these kinds of places invite outsiders to visit, but lots do.
By “retreat” I mean a place you could go for a day, a weekend, a week, or longer. By “monastery” I mean a ( usually Buddhist, but maybe other variety ) place where monks and/or nuns are working full time on their personal development towards Enlightenment. If they’re open to the public, these places welcome newcomers who want to spend a day or longer unplugged. Both types are most commonly free, even if you stay for weeks, though you’ll be expected to participate in the routine – chores and meditation. Don’t worry, the chores are things you know how to do, and they’ll teach the meditation; they assume you don’t know anything.
When I say “free” I mean they don’t charge. They’ll certainly accept a donation if you want to make one, and there’s a kind of expectation that you’ll bring food of some kind, but if you’re not inclined to give back you could just show up and hang out for a week, working on your Enlightenment thing.
Just for clarity, in this post when I say “monastery” I mean that, or a meditative retreat that might be run by non-monks/nuns.
Unplugging – what you do there
Ever wish you could unplug?
Or maybe you don’t wish to, but you know in the back of your mind somewhere it’d be a good idea. Life is noisy or stressful, people are fucking annoying, the job is stressful, and you just want things to be -simple- for a short while. Your current daily thing is bugging the shit out of you, or maybe you’d just like to try something different. A stay-cation of sorts, but definitely something a little more mindful than bingeing on “Pretty Little Liars” on Netflix.
Your local monastery is the perfect place for this. Not expensive, not hard to get to, totally looking forward to you being there, and great for a little reset-button-pushing.
Question – Will they make me join their cult? Answer – No.
They’re definitely not going to try to convert you. It’s not like that. You won’t have to shave your head, give up any possessions, wear funny robes, or anything along those lines. Part of the “work” a monastery does is make itself open and available to seekers looking to learn more about the monastic experience, or more about what they teach there, or just learn a bit of quiet mindfulness. They don’t give a shit about trying to make you join, or changing you or your life – a huge part of their universe is the idea that we all change ourselves, starting with making a decision to do so. They’re not looking to change you, only help you exactly as much as you want. And also, providing you a great environment to do this, if only for a weekend.
When I say “unplug” I mean exactly that. You can bring your phone, but most monasteries will expect you to keep it in your bag. Your Kindle or laptop… probably just leave those at home.
A quick aside – If this right here sounds like a deal breaker for you, you might be more in need of a break than you think. Just sayin’.
The belief is that during your mindful time at the monastery, you’ll be looking inward. You spend a lot of your regular day looking outward – answering emails, texting, watching traffic, cleaning up after the kids, making sure that project gets done, remembering to pay the electric bill, and so on. That’s all outward-directed stuff.
At the monastery, they’re going to kind of insist you go inward. This is called “being mindful,” and for normal people with no training, this starts with leaving the laptop at home and putting the phone in Airplane Mode. And of course taking a few deep breaths, because just this can be a little stressful, eh?
Deep breath in. Be aware of your breathing. Hold it for a moment. Now let it out.
See? You feel better already.
What to bring to the monastery
Be cool and bring a bag of food. Their monastary website probably has some suggestions. Bring some comfy clothes you can sit around in. Leave the graphic t-shirts, sport coats, funny hats, and expensive shoes at home. Trying to be a fashionista at the monastery is a special kind of ridiculous. Bring comfy shoes, and a hoodie if you get cold. They might have location-specific rules depending on who runs the monastery – the one I stayed at wanted you to wear long sleeves – so follow those rules.
If you stay overnight, you’ll likely be doing something outside, so dress for this too.
You make the arrangement to stay, even if just for a day, ahead of time. You do this like you’d make any other sort of reservation – you call, or more likely message like email. I made arrangements with the “Guest Monk” through email to stay the next weekend.
Monastery Rules
A thing about “rules” at the monastery: part of the deal with providing you a pretty-much-free place to learn and try the mindfulness thing, giving you a retreat from your stressful life, is that you’ll be a good sport and follow The Program. What this entails exactly varies from place to place according to the traditions of whomever is running the place. As I understand it, where I stayed is pretty typical; The Program there went like this:
wake up at 4am, with the gong ( cooler than it sounds )
do morning stuff ( like S-S-S ) for an hour
attend morning meditation in the temple from 5-630
help with chores inside from 630-730
eat breakfast as a group
do chores outside until 1130
eat lunch as a group
do “mindful shit”
( maybe no evening meal – you’ll be fine )
go to bed early enough so that waking up tomorrow at 4am doesn’t kill you
They’re going to expect you not to be on your phone. They’re going to need you not to yell, or otherwise interfere with other people trying to be mindful. Some places will insist you don’t talk at all, but at the monastery I went to this was not a thing; people talked all the time – just not about stuff like reality TV.
They’re going to expect you to pitch in with chores, to eat only at mealtimes, and not be disruptive to the routine or other people visiting or living there. They’re definitely going to expect you to come with an open mind, and an honest desire to give The Program a try for the duration of your stay.
If you decide at any point, anytime day or night it’s not for you, of course you can leave. Never a problem.
They’re going to expect you to sleep in the dorm appropriate to your gender, and not to flirt, chase anyone, or even talk or pay attention to that kind of thing. You’re not there for that, and you’re definitely not supposed to bug other people who are there to be mindful with your ham-handed attempts at flirting. Leave that stuff outside. If you come to the monastery with a sweetie, no PDA.
Doing the mindful shit
All monasteries will have meditation as serious parts of the schedule. There might also be lectures about Buddhism or the mindful perspective. The chores you do will be simple, and also work to provide you with time to reflect and look inward.
The local rules are there to help reinforce the mission to be mindful, to look within. You’ll be up pretty early, so as not to waste the day, but to also encourage the feeling of “holy crap, it’s 9am and I feel like I’ve done a day’s worth of stuff already.” A good feeling. Meals are communal, and pretty simple. This helps you realize that you don’t need to make a production of meals or spend a lot to satisfy your body. The noon meal is huge, and filling, and it’s the last one of the day.
They’ll assume you’ve never meditated before, and will be happy to give you some instruction. Each place teaches slightly different variations. Whatever flavor of meditation they teach, if you’re not used to sitting still for 90 minutes and doing nothing, this will be hugely difficult.
We’re not used to this. We’re used to attending to the outside world. When things are quiet, most of us crave distraction. We hit Facebook or Reddit, find something to clean, or someone to talk to. We don’t care to be alone and quiet with ourselves because most of us weren’t trained for that. We’re thought that it’s not “productive time” and that it’s just being lazy.
Some of us have a definitely problem with being alone with ourselves. Meditation is specifically designed to help with this. It is definitely work, and it is definitely productive. If you work at stilling your mind, quieting the “monkey brain” that’s screeching inside all of us, amazing things will happen. I promise.
But working on this is a definite pain in the ass. It will be one of the most difficult things you’ve ever done. Even if just for an hour.
No one will expect you to be any good at it. They’ll gently remind you not to be hard on yourself, and when something breaks your concentration, just turn aside and start again with the blank slate. Or whatever. Part of this is learning not to be so hard on yourself, not to beat yourself up.
After a bit of time and effort, you’ll be able to hold that stillness for a few moments. It will be surreal. It will surprise you.
Then you’ll think of that next episode of “Pretty Little Liars,” you’ll chastise yourself for breaking mindfulness, you’ll remember not to chastise yourself, you’ll put the idea of Netflix aside, and this next time the stillness will last a bit longer.
In that stillness, sometimes, you’ll learn things. Very valuable, sometimes painful, sometimes joyful things. the quiet you’re striving so hard for will allow stuff to bubble up that the smarter part of who you are is trying to tell you, but can’t get across because of all the daily BS you immerse yourself in.
This mindfulness, as well as taking steps to physically remove yourself from a noisy and distracting life, unplugging and living for a short while at a place apart from that world, is what the monastic experience is all about. For a day, for a weekend, or longer.
Meditation will be a big part of this mindful practice. There will also likely be a relevant library on-sight, if that’s your thing. There may be gardens, fields, courtyards, or other places suited to quiet contemplation. There will be supportive people all around trying to do the same thing you are.
Ten minutes after I arrived, I got me some enlightenment
When Kim and I arrived, she immediately went off with some girl who’d spent previous time in this monastery, and helped her get settled in the women’s dorm… which left me by myself, moments after arrival. I sat in the reception area of this monastery, endeavoring to be quiet and respectful ( like I was supposed to be, right? ) waiting for the “Guest Monk” to come get me and orient me.
As the moments turned into minutes, still sitting by myself I watched people enter the main group area of the monastery, but no one came to tell me where to go, or what to do.
At first I fidgeted. Then I started to get really bothered.
I was shocked by how much this bothered me, and caused me to be anxious. And maybe it was the environment of the monastery itself, or the idea that I had set aside this time to learn about myself, but my first lesson hit me pretty hard in that moment, no meditation required:
Lesson 1 – as a matter of routine, I put an awful lot of stock in what I’m “supposed” to be doing, at any given moment. If I feel I’m failing at this, I’m immediately pretty hard on myself. The monkey brain starts chattering loudly.
What am I supposed to be doing? Am I missing out on something? Will I be reprimanded? Or worse, will people just quietly look at me and think “poor, dumb newbie. He just doesn’t understand this place.”
Where the f*** was the guy who was -supposed- to be here orienting me? WTF? I’m just sitting here!
Lesson 2 – I put an awful to of stock in what others “should” be doing to help me along in life, and in doing so I give up a lot of agency.
Lesson 3 – both of these things cause me a lot of stress
Lesson 4 – both of these things are -totally- my own decision. I could just as easily choose a number of other options: Just to not feel stressed. Just to relax and be patient. Or to stand up and go see what the delay might be, or even better – just go find somewhere to fit in. Or to read something, make better use of my moments than sitting, stewing, and stressing about what I -should- be doing, or what someone else -should- be doing to help me.
Wow.
No meditation required, and ten minutes in I’d already learned some maybe-life-changing stuff about myself.
I could have had this epiphany anywhere. I could have had this realization at home while watching Netflix and texting on my phone while chasing Pokemon. But I didn’t. In all the zillions of moments I’ve had to myself, I didn’t learn all this there in front of the TV. I learned it within moments of sitting my ass in the chair of the reception area of the monastery.
To wrap this post up
I could go on and on, but I’ll spare you. My time at the monastery was very well spent. I’d be happy to talk with you about this, or answer any questions, or help you find a place you could check out for a day, or a weekend, or longer. Drop me a line.
It’s sunrise in Athens. We just left the port in a ferry the size of a small cruise ship, headed for Naxos. The ride is smooth; the ship is gliding out of the protected bay and into the Ionian Sea, gracefully making it’s way across still, strikingly blue water around the peninsula before we turn towards the rising sun and make for the Cyclades. We’re in one of the lounges, watching morning Greece slip past in the distance while we write.
For me, writing is like working out or playing a sport in many ways. It’s exercise, albeit mental. when I’m done I feel invigorated, like I’ve accomplished something. Further, I feel like I’ve used a part of me that needs to be used, you know? Like, made use of some available talent instead of letting it sit fallow somewhere in my schedule and my mind.
Also like exercise, it’s clearly a habit. If I make a go of it for a few days then it’s pretty easy to kept going. But if something comes up and my daily routine gets changed, then for me it’s very easy to fall out of a set routine. Like there’s that little part of me that was waiting patiently while all this “being productive disciplined” shit was happening, and right when there was the slightest opportunity, this thing spoke up.
“Hey, you’ll do this tomorrow. This is a long flight. Can’t write on a travel day.”
Which, of course, is ridiculous. In his amazing book “The War of Art” Steven Pressfield calls this insidious little voice “the resistance.” And everything he said about it is true, at least in my experience.
So, while in Florence I blog like a fiend. I also dedicate time to the current writing project without fail on a daily basis. But when there’s a break in my routine, I have a travel day that takes me to London and then to Chicago for a conference, BAM. Or rather, a quite sort of -snap- and that’s it. I’m off the path, and not writing. I probably don’t even notice it for days.
At some point I realize it and think “eh. It’s just a blog. ( insert excuse why it’s not important, here ).”
And that day goes by with no writing. And then another. Now and then I’ll be at the computer and think “Hmmmmm, I should write.” And then I’ll either suddenly remember I haven’t written a reply to an email I got three days ago, I’ll check Facebook or Reddit for this one thing that pops up in my mind, and thoughts of writing, or of “practicing my art” as Pressfield would put it, are gone. banished and forgotten for another day or two.
Deep inside somewhere, The resistance is giggling. Quietly, so as not to draw attention to itself.
It’s giggling because in one fell swoop it also managed to get me to stop posting pics to the blog’s Instagram as well. That’s how The Resistance works, you see. It it gets a single, it almost always goes for the double or triple. And almost always gets it.
After Chicago I returned to London and renewed my effort to finish the writing project Kim and I are working on together. i stayed with it for some days, maybe a week, then something against nudged me off of it. I never got back to blogging, even after friends asked me “Where’s the next post?” and acquaintances wrote “For the next post, you should talk about such and such.”
Buy the way, if you ever write a blog, or anything that other people read, when someone nudges you like this, you should really start writing immediately. Pull over first, no need to write right there in traffic. But get to it soon, because they’re not nagging you, no matter what The Resistance might have you believe. By mentioning they’re looking forward to the next bit of whatever you decide is important enough to ut out there, they are paying you a tremendous compliment, and doing you a favor. Showing you a bit of respect. Return the favor, and take up your art again.
It took me a while, but here I am. Nice to be back with you all. That’s also a little trick, if you didn’t know it – if you can’t think of what to write about, write about not being able to write. I actually had a few other ideas of blog topics, but I thought this whole habit/nudging/resistance/art thing was also worth talking about.
I’ve read in a few places that for a habit to become ingrained it needs to be practiced for 21 days. I’m pretty sure this doesn’t mean I need to write 21 little mini-novellas, like I am with this post today. But I need to show up to the plate and swing the bat at pitches.
Be more aware of the things you’d like to do that produce something, that are creative. The things that make you feel good, because they tap into your soul. They’re not easy, maybe. But you’ll know them because they’re 1. creative and 2. they make you ( and maybe someone else ) feel good. Also, I’d add 3. they require effort against The Resistance, because this is almost always true. Be more conscious of your habit of doing these things, and even more important why you -don’t- do them. What are the excuses you find yourself repeating? What’s keeping you from your art? That’s The Resistance, and it is not your friend.
A great little article from FastCompany was included in the current Digital Nomad Weekly newsletter and details seven different jobs that are very well suited to remote work. The jobs all require a bit of learning on your part, but none of them require a specific ( or any ) degree, or a set number of years of experience. You can self-learn any of the disciplines ( with some self-discipline ) and start up in your spare time before you make any big leaps.
I’m familiar with all of the seven options they discuss; if you’d like any addition information, feel free to reach out in the comments or by direct message.
Also, I couldn’t help but notice that “UX architect ” was not listed, so we’ll just call that job #8.
Note – at this moment, I am sitting at a coffeeshop in London, writing this post and doing some work as a Content Entrepreneur, as well as a UX Architect.
Today’s office – Maison d’etre, Canonbury, North London
At the monastery, they’re going to kind of insist you go inward. This is called “being mindful,” and for normal people with no training, this starts with leaving the laptop at home and putting the phone in Airplane Mode. And of course taking a few deep breaths, because just this can be a little stressful, eh?
All monasteries will have meditation as serious parts of the schedule. There might also be lectures about Buddhism or the mindful perspective. The chores you do will be simple, and also work to provide you with time to reflect and look inward.
pau hana life 